Milk Plus And Eggiweggs
by autumnrose2010
Summary: Alex discovers that one of the nurses caring for him after his suicide attempt is the daughter of the woman he killed.
1. Cats

She knew who he was, of course. His photo had been in so many newspapers that there was no mistaking that face. What she never suspected was that he might eventually be brought here.

She should have hated him, but she didn't. Once she had tried to make herself hate him but all she had been able to think about had been the cats. All those cats. It had been one of her many duties to clean the litter boxes. The smell had been horrendous.

Now looking at him lying there unconscious, all she could feel for him was the pity tempered with professional distance she felt for all attempted suicide victims. He looked so incredibly ordinary, locks of long blondish hair falling over his eyes, a thin scar running down one side of his ashen face, both arms and legs encased in casts.

Now all that remained was to wait and see whether the brain surgery had been a success.

* * *

><p>The first thing he was aware of was the sounds. Not Beethoven's Ninth Symphony again, thank goodness, but simply the ordinary routine sounds heard during a typical hospital day. Beeping monitors, footsteps, hushed voices.<p>

A light, pleasant scent temporarily overshadowed the antiseptic aroma of the hospital room. A perfume trail left by a devochtka who had recently been there. Devotchkas. He felt a faint flicker of desire that was, surprisingly, not accompanied by a wave of nausea. Although he was, of course, currently in no shape at all for the old in-out, in-out. Still, a lad could dream.

He wondered when she would return.


	2. Beef And Broccoli

The next time she saw him his eyes were open. She saw that they were light blue.

"You've been here before," he said.

"How would you know? You were asleep."

He sniffed the air. "Malenky bit odiferous."

She cocked an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"I meant odiferous in a _nice _way. That's a real horrorshow perfume you have on."

"Why do you talk like that?"

"Because I like to talk like that."

"I've brought your food." She sat the tray down on the little table beside the bed.

"Eggiweggs!" he chortled gaily.

"No, actually it's beef and broccoli. It's lunchtime, not breakfast."

She watched him struggle to bring the fork to his mouth.

"Do you need some help?" she asked after a few minutes. He nodded. She stabbed a piece of broccoli with the fork. He opened his mouth like a baby bird waiting to be fed. The both repeated the process a few times.

She giggled. "You're kind of cute when you do that."

He leered at her. "If I didn't have these casts on me arms and legs I'd throw you down and give you some of the old in-out right now."

"You're disgusting." She slammed the fork down and turned away from him.

"I'll bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?" he persisted.

"I don't have to stand here and listen to this." She turned to leave the room.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Anywhere to get away from you."

"Wait! Come back. You seem like a real horrorshow devotchka."

"I wish you'd stop talking like a Commie."

"Devotchka! Devotchka! Devotchka!" he sang merrily to the ceiling.

"I wish I had a bottle of vodka so I could hit you over the head with it," she said crossly.

He laughed. "That was a good one!"

Despite years of Yankee paranoia, in the end not a single button had been pushed. Instead they had stealthily infiltrated society until their influence could be felt even in the language.

"Speaking of which, do you like milk plus?" he asked her.

"Huh?"

"Milk plus. It fires you up, gets you ready for some of the old ultra violence."

"The old ultra violence was what got you here in the first place."

"No t'wasn't. 'Twas the old in-out that got me here, same as it did everyone."

"You think you're so clever." She smirked.

"Me pee and em rented me room to some bloke named Joe. I got nowhere to live now."

"My father would have knocked me flat it I had called him my pee."

"Would have?"

"He's dead. Killed in the war."

"Me em's hair is lime green now. It used to be purple. You ever have lime green or purple hair?"

"Of course not. I couldn't work here if my hair were some crazy color."

He guffawed loudly. "I'm cured now, y'know."

"Doesn't look that way to me." She looked at his cast-encased arms and legs.

"No, I mean the other. I don't get sick anymore when someone mentions the old in-out."

"Good for you," she said sarcastically.

"What do you have against the old in-out? It's what got you here too, y'know."

"I hate cats," she said. Although of course the cats had been merely the tip of the iceberg. He didn't realize it, of course, but he had set her free for the very first time in her life.

"Lots of fun things to do with cats," he said. "You can grab em' up by the tail and whirl 'em round and round over your gulliver and then throw them smash! up against the side of something. Real horrorshow bloody mess."

She gave a short, sharp laugh.

"Y'see? Cured! I don't feel one bit queasy or nauseous right now."

"Maybe they should have just left you the way you were."

"Oh no, it wouldn't have done for me to be puking all over the place every time the old Ludwig van got played, would it?"

"Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease," she told him.


	3. Droogs

"She was my mum, you know." She and several other nurses had temporarily moved him to a gurney so that they could change his sheets. For some reason, she had lingered after the other nurses had left. She supposed that he must hold some fascination for her, more so than did any of the other patients.

Now he gasped and looked at her with eyes filled with fear. "What are you going to do to me?"

"Why, nothing at all." She watched him sag with relief. "She treated me really horribly." He raised his eyebrows in mild surprise.

"When I was younger, she made me...do things. Horrible things. Disgusting things. With her watching. Sometimes she would take pictures. Sometimes she would do things to me, or make me do things to her. Sometimes she used toys. Or food."

He gave a low whistle. "No wonder you don't care much for the old in-out," he said softly. It seemed so unlike him to use that tone of voice that she wondered whether he was delirious. Considering his past deeds, she had always just assumed him to be a creature totally devoid of empathy.

"I haven't any opinion of it one way or the other," she told him.

"You never told me your name," he said.

"You never asked for it."

"What is it, then?"

"It's Lorelei."

"Mine's Alex."

"I know." _Who doesn't?_

"So, Lorelei, what's the worst thing you've ever done?"

She had to think about it for a minute. "One day I skipped school and spent the day at my friend's house. I lied to my mum about it."

He looked surprised, then roared with laughter. "Have you ever heard that opposites attract?"

"Yes, I've heard that. Your implication is?"

"When I get out of here, I'm gonna kill some cats for you. A _bunch _of them."

She had to laugh at what she supposed must be his perverted attempt at chivalry. Probably the first time in his life he had ever come remotely close to such a thing.

"You can come along and watch if you want. It'll be real horrorshow fun."

"Thanks anyway, but I think I'll decline."

"I tried to be good once. I really did."

"Did you, now?"

"I really wanted to be good. That's why I volunteered for that Ludivaco treatment."

"I thought that was just so you could get out of prison twelve years early."

"That too."

"You could be good if you wanted to be, Alex. With or without the Ludivaco treatment."

"That's the thing. I don't _want _to be. At least not bad enough."

"So when you get better you're just gonna go right back to beating up and raping and killing people?"

"I don't know." He looked thoughtful. "There's this part of me that's really itching to."

"What about the other part?"

"I"m not sure there _is _another part."

"But there _must _be. You said you tried to be good once."

"I was afraid of going to hell. The prison chaplain used to talk about it."

"Do you suppose it's really true?"

"Who knows? Malenky bit scary, that."

"I suppose you must have gotten started by torturing small animals, right?"

Instantly he was all innocence again. "Who, me? I've always been very kind to small animals. Except for cats, of course."

"Like I really believe _that." _She gave a short, sharp laugh. "How'd you get started down the path of corruption, then?"

"I suppose 'twas me droogs that got me started."

"Where are they now?"

"Georgie's dead. Dim joined the police. Don't know where Pete is. Don't care, neither. He was a traitor too, just like the others."

"Sounds like they weren't very good droogs after all, then."

"You know what, Lorelei? I never cared anything for devotchkas before except for the old in-out, in-out. You're the first devotchka I've ever talked to like this. Almost like to a droog, I mean."

She smirked. "Well, I'm ever so glad you appreciate my brain, Alex."


	4. The Old Ludwig Van

The next time she came into his hospital room, she saw that his face was turned to the wall and he looked totally dejected.

"It's time for your medication," she told him.

He turned doleful blue eyes her way. "Me pee and em came to see me today."

"And?"

"They apologized for renting me room out and said if they'd a known I was gonna take it so hard they never would have."

"So when you get out of here are they gonna kick Joe out so you can have it back?"

"Nothing was said about that."

She gave him his pills and he swallowed them.

"You still live in the house with all the cats?"

"No. I got away from there just as fast as I could. I live in a flat on the opposite side of town."

"So where are all the cats now?"

"I don't know and I don't care. I'm just glad I don't have to clean up after them anymore."

"I used to have a snake but me pee killed him."

"If there's one thing I hate worse than cats, it's snakes."

"Me snake, he loved the old Ludwig van just about as much as I do. He was a real horrorshow snake. And me pee had to go and off him."

"Well, I guess your pa didn't like snakes either."

"But it was _my _snake, not me pee's. They took all my belongings as well. To pay back my victims for all their pain and suffering, they said. I got nowhere to go now, no belongings neither."

"Well, don't you think that was only right?"

He scowled and didn't say anything.

She started to leave but he called after her. "Hey, Lorelei."

"What?"

"What do you think of the old Ludwig van?"

She shrugged. "He's all right, I suppose."

"Just all _right?" _He sounded incredulous.

"Classical music isn't really my thing, Alex."

"What kind of music _do _you like?"

"Mostly rock and pop."

"And here all this time I thought you were quite a clever devotchka." Disappointed, he turned toward the wall once again. She shrugged and left the room.

* * *

><p>She was having lunch with her friend Sasha, who worked in the emergency room.<p>

"They brought in a policeman today. Stabbed through the heart. Bled out and died within a few minutes. He must have known your friend Alex, because right before he died he was delirious and kept blathering about how he should have finished drowning Alex when he had the chance."

"Alex isn't my friend. He's just another patient."

"You sure talk about him as if he were a friend."

Later Lorelei went to the morgue to see the body of the dead policeman. She read the name on his toe tag and committed it to memory. Soon she found herself walking to Alex's room. She didn't know why. It wasn't as if she owed him anything.

She found him as he usually was, staring listlessly at the ceiling. His eyes brightened momentarily as he saw her, then returned to their previous disinterested stare, as if he hoped she hadn't noticed. She had.

She mentioned the dead policeman's name and asked if Alex knew him. His eyes registered surprise.

"Why, that's Dim's real name," he said softly.


	5. A Baddiwad Malchick Like Me

"One of your droogs, right?" she asked.

He nodded. "He and Georgie tried to drown me."

"Doesn't sound like a very good droog to me."

Alex gave a sharp laugh. "He turned traitor. They all did."

"Maybe you should have different kinds of people as droogs from now on, Alex. Nicer people."

"A baddiwad malchick like me?"

"You don't have to be a baddiwad malchick anymore if you don't want to be."

"It's the only way I know how to be."

"Maybe you could learn how to be a different way."

"I tried that once, remember? And look where it got me."

"Maybe there's another way that would work better than the Ludovico technique."

"Yeah." His eyes lit up. "Hey, maybe you could help me, be my like...you know, what Jiminy Cricket was to Pinocchio."

That struck her as wildly funny and she burst out laughing. Too late she saw the anger flashing in his eyes and realized that she had hurt his feelings.

"Hey, Alex, I'm sorry...I didn't mean to make fun of you, honest, I didn't..."

He stared at the wall and refused to acknowledge her. The next few times she tried to speak to him she was met with stony silence, until finally she gave up and only went into his room when absolutely necessary. Then one day her supervisor sought her out, saying that Alex had asked for her.

Surprised, she asked if there was a problem.

"Oh, he's just being a big baby. It's time for the casts to come off his arms, and when we showed him the saw we use, he freaked out. He's afraid it's going to hurt, even though we assured him over and over again that it wouldn't."

When Lorelei entered Alex's room she saw that his eyes were wide with fright. _You're not nearly as tough as you think you are, _she thought, but of course she didn't dare say the words out loud.

"Lorelei." He spoke to her for the first time in days. "Real horrorshow of you to come."

"This will only take a few minutes," said the doctor. Lorelei saw Alex flinch when the doctor turned the saw on. She had to admit that it _was _rather noisy. Alex's eyes sidled over to hers and he wordlessly held out his other hand to her. Just as wordlessly she stepped toward him and clasped it. It was the first time she had ever touched him other than for medical procedures.

Soon the cast was off one arm and the doctor and saw moved to Alex's other side so of course Lorelei did the same. Alex's arm that had been encased in the cast was pale and shriveled and the skin was peeling as if from a bad sunburn.

Just as quickly the cast was off the other arm and the doctor was putting the saw away and preparing to leave.

"Me arms are like all weak and droopy," Alex complained. He tried to bend his elbow and grimaced in pain.

"That's because you haven't used those muscles in a long time. As you begin to use them again you'll soon regain your former strength," the doctor told him.

Alex looked at Lorelei. "Thanks," he mumbled in a low voice.

"So does this mean we're droogs again?" she asked.

He rolled his eyes and didn't say anything.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He grinned at her, and she grinned back.


	6. A Real Horrorshow Devotchka

A couple of weeks later the casts on Alex's legs were removed as well. Lorelei was there with him, holding his hand the entire time once again.

"You've been a real horrorshow devotchka," Alex told her. "When I get out of here I want to take you out to dinner. What kind of pischa do you like?"

She shrugged. "Anything is fine."

"I'll need some pretty polly first, of course."

"Any idea yet what your new government job is going to be?"

"I haven't slooshied a slovo."

An attendant arrived with a wheelchair. Alex stared at it. "Where are you taking me?" he asked suspiciously.

"Physical therapy. You're going to have to learn to walk all over again."

A look of dismay passed over Alex's face. "Just like a malenky malchick, you mean?"

The attendant nodded. "Exactly."

"Have fun." Lorelei waved to Alex in the wheelchair as he was rolled along to physical therapy.

* * *

><p>"So, can you walk again yet?" she asked him the next day.<p>

He made a face. "Sheer torture, that was."

"Well, you know what they say. No pain, no gain."

"Yeah." He grimaced. "Too much sodding pain. _Way _too much sodding pain. Enough to drive a veck crazy."

"I guess next time you'll think before you take a dive out of a second floor window, won't you?"

* * *

><p>The day Alex was discharged from the hospital was a real media circus. Cameras and microphones were everywhere. Lorelei soon found one shoved into her own face.<p>

"This is so-and-so from such-and-such speaking with the daughter of the cat lady. How do you feel knowing that your mother's killer is now once again out on the streets?"

"To be honest, not much different from the way I felt yesterday." No point in going into the type of person her mother had really been. That, of course, was no one's business but her own.

Lorelei generously told Alex that he could stay in her flat temporarily until he could find a place of his own. She gave him a brief tour.

"There's only one bedroom," he remarked.

"I realize that."

He grinned, licked his lips, and rubbed his hands together.

"Don't even think about it. Your bed's the sofa."

He looked utterly dejected.

His new government job started the following day. It turned out to be as a crossing guard for the elementary school. Lorelei drove past him on her way to her own job at the hospital.

"How do you like your new job?" she asked him when they were both home that evening.

"Real horrorshow." He grinned. "I'm still taking you out to dinner when I get me first pretty polly, even though you do make me sleep on the sofa."

Lorelei smiled. "I'll be looking forward to it."


	7. A New Alex

Alex and Lorelei soon settled into their own comfortable routine of waking, going to work, coming home, watching TV or listening to music, and sleeping. As Lorelei soon tired of listening to 'the old Ludwig Van' nonstop, some compromise had to be reached where music was concerned. Lorelei found to her surprise that she rather liked some classical music, and she enjoyed introducing Alex to 'A Fifth Of Beethoven' by Walter Murphy.

Several nights after Alex moved in, there was a knock at the door.

"May I please come in and use your telephone? My friend has been injured and is bleeding quite badly," asked a young male voice.

"Don't let him in!" Alex whispered urgently, grabbing Lorelei's arm and pulling her away from the door. He pushed her into the bathroom, where they both hid until several minutes after the knocking and shouting had finally stopped.

Alex, holding a finger to his lips, crept stealthily to the window and looked outside, then motioned to Lorelei that it was safe to come out of the bathroom.

"That's what I used to say to lewdies," he admitted sheepishly after the incident was over.

True to his word, Alex used his first paycheck to take Lorelei out to dinner. She gasped with delight when she saw how nicely he had dressed. He gave her a quizzical look.

"It's just that I've never seen you dressed up before, and you look very nice," she said somewhat shyly.

To her amazement, he actually blushed. "You look real horrorshow yourself as well," he mumbled awkwardly.

The Alex Lorelei saw that evening was completely different from the Alex she had become accustomed to. It was hard for her to believe that someone who had formerly been capable of such violence and destruction could behave with such politeness and chivalry. After dinner she thought that a moonlit walk would be lovely and romantic, but Alex quickly nixed the idea.

"Too dangerous," he said. "Too many baddiwad malchicks like I used to be around."

"Thank you for a lovely night," Lorelei told Alex before retiring to her bedroom that night.

"Hey, don't I even get a good-night kiss?" Alex protested.

"Oh, of course! I'm sorry." She went to him and kissed him. His lips were warm and moist as they gently brushed hers. She decided that kissing Alex felt really nice.

It was less than a week later that Lorelei awakened to find a strange man in her bedroom, trying to tear her clothing off. Automatically she screamed, and he clamped a hand over her mouth. "One more sound and you're dead," he whispered viciously.

Suddenly Alex was there, pulling the man off of her. Lorelei ran screaming from the bedroom as the man lunged at Alex. Terrified, she hid in the bathroom until Alex came looking for her some time later. Blood was streaming from his nose, but he was grinning.

"Shvatted him right in the yarbles. He'll be singing soprano from now on."

"So is he gone now?"

Alex nodded proudly. "Limped away crarking for mercy."

"Oh, Alex." She sobbed with relief. He put his arms around her and patted her shoulder awkwardly. She fell asleep right there in his arms, kneeling on the bathroom floor. The next morning she awakened to find that he had carried her back to bed and tucked her in before returning to the sofa.


	8. Lubbilubbing

Surprised but pleased, Lorelei rose and went into the kitchen, where she found Alex staring dolefully into a bowl of uneaten cereal.

"Good morning," she said cheerfully.

His blue eyes glanced up at her, but he didn't smile. "I fixed your ceiling," he told her. "He climbed up onto the roof and moved a tile aside. That's how he got in."

"I want to thank you for what you did last night. That was very brave of you. I don't know what might have happened to me if you hadn't been there."

"Yeah." He smiled at last. "Gotta itty along or I'll be late."

Puzzled, she ate her own breakfast in silence and then left for the hospital. When she returned that evening, she found him lounging in a recliner, staring at the TV.

"Dinner's in the oven," he told her.

"Why, thank you, Alex." She went to him and kissed his cheek.

That night Lorelei couldn't get to sleep. She kept thinking about Alex asleep on the sofa and remembering how nice it had felt to have his arms around her as he had held her on the bathroom floor the previous night. She had been so frightened, and he had calmed her, made her feel safe.

Suddenly she couldn't stand it anymore and quietly made her way into the living room.

"Alex?"

He sat up, rubbed his eyes, and mumbled something unintelligible.

"Would you mind sleeping in my bed with me tonight? I'd feel so much safer with you there."

Obediently, he rose and followed her back into the bedroom. She noticed that he wore nothing but his underwear.

In bed she felt his arms go around her, and she snuggled into them. Within a few minutes, she noticed that his hands were gently caressing her breasts.

Desire immediately flared up inside her, and she found her own hands wandering over his body as well, slowly making their way to the elastic of his underwear.

"Do you want me to?" she whispered.

"Do you want to?" he whispered back.

Slowly, she tugged his underwear down and off. She felt him and found that he was already rock hard. She took him into her mouth and began to lick him all over. She heard him moaning softly, felt his hand gently stroking her hair, as she busily worked her tongue all over him.

His moaning became more urgent, and she softly kissed his tip and lay back again. Right away he was reciprocating, kissing her belly and tugging at her panties. She helped him pull them off, and he spread her legs and began to busily work his tongue all over her most sensitive areas. Involuntarily, she groaned and clung to the sheet.

"Please don't stop!" she cried. He laughed softly, and his tongue continued its ministrations. She felt herself beginning to climax and groaned loudly.

Instantly, he changed positions and was now on top of her. She felt him enter her and begin to thrust.

"Oh...my...God..." She began to climax again, and he followed shortly afterwards. He rolled off her, and she snuggled up against his back with her arm around him. Within seconds, she heard him lightly snoring.

She awoke the next morning to find him grinning impudently at her.

"Well, how did you like it?" he asked.

"My God, Alex, I had no idea you were so good!"

"You're quite horrorshow yourself," he told her.

They looked at one another awkwardly, shyly, like a couple of teenagers just arriving at a high school dance.

"Well, I guess I'll just itty along now," Alex said softly.

Lorelei hesitated, hoping that he would hug and kiss her good-bye. He didn't.


	9. Lasagna And Monty Python

All that day, Lorelei couldn't get her mind off Alex. His fingers, his tongue, his breath...If anyone had told her a year ago that she would fall in love with her mother's killer, she would have told them that they were crazy. A year ago, she had been lonely, depressed, going about her daily duties mechanically, wondering whether or not there was really any point to it all, whether it was really worth all the bother. But then she had met Alex in such an incredible, improbable way, and ever since then, she had felt so...alive. Was this what it felt like to be in love?

Memories of the previous night lingered for Alex as well. For him sex had always been a purely mechanical process, simply a route to an orgasm. For the very first time in his life, he had come to associate the sex act with feelings of tenderness, of genuine concern for another. It both amazed and frightened him.

That evening when Lorelei returned home, she once again found Alex lounging in the recliner watching TV. The delicious aroma coming from the oven told her that he had started dinner again.

"I hope you like lasagna," he told her, a bit shyly.

"Lasagna's fine, Alex. Thank you for starting dinner. That was so sweet of you."

He came to her and hugged and kissed her awkwardly. She was taken aback at first, but then responded in kind.

Afterward they stood looking at one another awkwardly.

"What are you watching?" she asked him.

"Monty Python."

She sat on the sofa, and he started to return to the recliner, then changed his mind and sat on the sofa beside her. She felt his arm hesitantly encircle her shoulders and leaned back into his embrace. Soon they were both roaring with laughter at the TV show.

"Bog, I'm about to burn the lasagna," Alex mumbled, suddenly jumping up.

"Whew! I think it's still edible," he said a few minutes later, dropping it quickly onto the table.

That night Lorelei wondered what she should do. Should she just assume that he would share her bed again, or should she specifically ask him?

"Well, good night, then," he told her at the usual time, heading for the sofa. She just stood there, obviously disappointed. He hesitated for a moment, then grinned and followed her into her bedroom.

"After you," he said politely, indicating the bed. She climbed under the covers, felt the mattress sink a few seconds later as he joined her.

She cuddled up to him, and his arms went around her to hold her close. He didn't grope for her breasts this time. She wondered whether she should initiate things, and ended up falling asleep wondering.

The next morning she awakened to feel him pawing at her almost frantically. She reached down and felt his erection, and a moment later felt him enter her.

"Ouch!" she cried.

"Oh, sorry," he said sheepishly. He began to fondle her, very slowly and gently, until she was slick with arousal.

"Are you ready now?" he asked softly.

She nodded, and he entered her again. It didn't hurt this time; however, it was over with very quickly. She was left wondering whether that was really going to be all there was to it this time. He seemed completely oblivious to her thoughts.

"Well, gotta itty along. Have a real horrorshow day," he said cheerfully, giving her a quick peck on the lips. He didn't wait around long enough for her to say good-bye.

She felt very depressed as she left for work herself a short time later.


	10. Alex The Romantic

That evening when Lorelei got home, she was shocked to see the changes that Alex had wrought in her apartment. The lights were dimmed, candles were burning on the table, and she could smell the strong aroma of incense. Marvin Gaye was playing in the cassette player. Alex appeared, handsomely dressed in the same suit he had worn to take her out to dinner in.

"Greetings," he said, bowing deeply.

Lorelei was startled. "What _is _this?"

"I was thinking that perhaps you would like for me to be more like romantic," Alex said.

"I _do _like it very much, Alex. Thank you!" She went to him and kissed his cheek.

"Shall we dance while we wait for dinner to be ready?" he asked.

"That sounds wonderful," Lorelei told him. They began to dance and got so engrossed in it that Alex very nearly burned dinner again.

"It's delicious, Alex," Lorelei said while eating the shrimp scampi he had prepared. "I had no idea you were such a good cook."

"Neither did I," he said with a grin.

After dinner he drew her a bath, complete with bath beads, bath oil, bubble bath, candles, incense, the whole works. "Wow!" was all that Lorelei could say.

"Prepare to be pampered," Alex told her. He washed her all over with a sponge.

"I feel quite spoiled now," she said. "Would you like for me to do you as well?"

"That sounds real horrorshow." He quickly stripped naked and joined her in the tub. As it was a rather small tub, it was a rather tight fit, but neither of them really minded. They splashed and giggled and lathered one another's bodies and rinsed one another off.

Afterwards Alex took Lorelei's hand and led her into the bedroom, where they collapsed onto the bed laughing. Lorelei playfully reached for Alex and found to her surprise that he was soft. In her hands he was soon hard, and they began to make love. For Lorelei it was by far the most fulfilling act of intimacy she had ever shared with Alex. For the first time she wondered whether they might actually have a future together.

* * *

><p>"I've been thinking that perhaps I should start going to church and that might like help keep me from going back to being a baddiwad malchick," Alex said one day.<p>

"I've never been," Lorelei told him.

"In staja I got to be good droogs with the charlie," Alex said. "I used to help him with his lessons."

"You know more about it than I do, then," Lorelei told him. "I don't know anything at all about religion, except that it seems to come in two varieties, Catholic and Protestant."

"Which is the Queen?"

"She's Protestant."

"Perhaps we should try that one, then."

"We?"

"Surely you'll itty along with me, won't you?"

"I suppose so, if it's that important to you."

Lorelei felt terribly self-conscious the first time she entered the church with Alex. She had no idea what to expect. They were barely inside when the vicar approached them with a big smile.

"Why, Alex! How lovely of you to join us today!" Obviously Alex's celebrity status hadn't yet died.

"It's a pleasure to be here, sir." Alex shook his hand.

During the service Lorelei noticed several people in the congregation watching them and whispering. She wanted to crawl under the seat. Alex seemed pleased.

After the service was over, Lorelei waited while Alex went to speak to the vicar alone in his office. They were gone for what seemed to be a long time, and when they returned, Alex was grinning ear to ear.

"I've found the true way," he told Lorelei.


	11. Alex's Question

"What is it?" asked Lorelei.

"Why, it's simply to like turn your whole life over to Bog," Alex told her. "Read the Bible and do as Bog says and He'll keep you from being baddiwad. That's what the Charlie told me."

"Do you really believe it's that simple?" Lorelei asked.

"So the Charlie says," Alex told her.

A few nights later, three young men of about Alex's age arrived at the flat. All three carried Bibles.

"Meet my new droogs," Alex said by way of introduction. "This is Colin, Roger, and Simon."

"How do you do," said Lorelei, shaking each young man's hand.

"We're going to be having like Bible study here at this time every week," Alex went on. "You may like sit in on it with us if you want."

Curious, Lorelei did so. Colin began the meeting with prayer, and afterwards there were scripture readings and discussion of what the scriptures meant. Following that was a period of general discussion during which Roger asked Lorelei about herself.

"Are you a Christian?"

"Why, yes, of course I am," she told him.

"At what age did you give your life to God?" Lorelei noticed that he spoke conventional English rather than nasdat and wondered whether he would influence Alex to do the same.

"I'm not sure exactly what you mean." Lorelei frowned. "I've always been a Christian."

Roger looked at her sympathetically. "Would you like for me to pray with you?"

Lorelei shrugged. "Sure. Why not?"

He did, and she didn't feel any different.

"Well, what did you think?" Alex asked after the other three young men had left.

"Well, they certainly seem...enthusiastic," Lorelei replied. "But are you sure this is the right thing for you to be involved in, Alex?"

"I'm a servant of Bog now, Lorelei. I must do His will from now on."

Several days later, Alex's new friends arrived at Lorelei's flat once again.

"I'm off to do mission work," Alex told Lorelei. "We're going to like share Bog's good news with others."

"Please be very, very careful, Alex," she warned. "You know what kind of people are out there."

"Bog will protect us," Alex assured her.

* * *

><p>One day it occurred to Lorelei that her period was several weeks overdue. Since becoming Alex's lover, she knew that she should use caution, but not really wanting to bother with it, she had kept putting off doing anything about it.<p>

The next day at the hospital, she swiped a pregnancy test from where they were stored, quickly slipped into the restroom, and performed it on herself.

"You're going to be a father," she told Alex when she returned home that evening.

"Really!" He stared at her in shock for a few moments and then a wide grin slowly spread across his face. "Well, what do you know!"

"What do you want to do, Alex?"

He looked deeply worried. "You don't want like an abortion, do you?"

"I hadn't even considered that," she told him. "But what do _you _want to do?"

Alex came to her and put his hand over her belly. "I want to keep it," he said softly. "And I want to be with you, too. Will you marry me?"


	12. Mary Alexander

The day Lorelei was to become Mrs. Alexander DeLarge started out pleasantly enough, and everything went fine right up until it was time for Alex to walk up the aisle and stand beside Lorelei. As soon as he opened the door to the back of the church, his face registered an expression of abject horror, and he disappeared right back into the foyer, leaving Lorelei hurt, confused, and infuriated.

Angrily, she stalked back down the aisle to confront him and pushed the door open.

"What's the meaning of this?" she demanded.

"It's the organist!" Alex whispered with a tone of desperation in his voice. "I can't face her!"

"The _organist?" _Lorelei was completely baffled.

"Uh...you see..." Alex nervously shifted from one foot to the other. "I like _know _her. Her name is Mary Alexander, and back in my baddiwad days, me and my droogs, we, like...broke into her house and gang-raped her one night."

Lorelei gasped, shocked.

"Her husband, Frank, told me she had snuffed it," Alex continued. "If she snuffed it, what's she doing here?"

"Maybe she's a ghost," Lorelei said sarcastically. "Whatever the deal is, do you still want to get married or not?"

"Of course I do!"

"Well, then, you're going to have to go through with it anyway."

After the ceremony Alex approached Mary with tears in his eyes. As far as Lorelei could tell, they were genuine.

"Many, many appypolly loggies for what me and my droogs did to you," he said.

"It's quite all right. All is forgiven," Mary said serenely.

"I thought I'd never see you again. Frank told me you had like snuffed it," Alex said.

"That's what he tells everyone," Mary said. "He can't bear to tell people that I left him because it hurts his pride too much. I left him to do God's work. I tried to get him to come with me, but he wouldn't."

"But didn't you love him?" asked Lorelei.

"Of course I did, and still do. But he wouldn't come with me to follow God. He's still angry at God for what happened. I was too, for a long time, until Colin, Roger, and Simon came to visit me. They talked with me and prayed with me and helped me to find peace."

"Those are my new droogs!" Alex exclaimed.

"What about you?" Mary turned to Lorelei. "Have you found peace in God as well?"

"I'm not quite sure what that means," Lorelei told her.

"Read the Bible," Mary said. "It has all the answers you need."

"I feel like really baddiwad about what happened between Frank and Mary," Alex told Lorelei later as they were sitting across from one another in a diner drinking milkshakes. "I feel that it was like all my fault. If me and my droogs hadn't done what we did, they would like still be together and all."

"Maybe we could somehow get them back together," Lorelei suggested.

"Frank still like really hates me," Alex told her. "He was like the reason I ended up in the hospital. He like tried to make me snuff it."

"Maybe he's had time to work through his anger and get over it by now," Lorelei said.

"I like seriously doubt it," Alex responded.

They finished their milkshakes in silence, then went roller skating in the park. Lorelei couldn't stop thinking about what a shame it was that they couldn't help Frank and Mary Alexander get back together.

* * *

><p>Somewhere in London, a certain young man picked up the newspaper and read with interest about the wedding of Alex and Lorelei DeLarge.<p>

_So he's still around, and married now, _he said to himself. _No matter. I'm still going to make him pay for what he did to me. All I have to do is be patient and bide my time. My chance will come some day._


	13. Traffic Jam

Alex was very excited about having a baby with Lorelei. He accompanied her on all of her ultrasound appointments, and together they watched their unborn child move its tiny arms and legs.

"I'll bet he's going to be a real horrorshow football player," Alex said.

"Or _she _might turn out to be a ballerina," Lorelei retorted. Alex giggled and put his arm around her.

Alex became very protective of Lorelei, accompanying her everywhere he could, never letting her lift anything heavy or do any hard work. Many days she spent almost the entire day lying on the sofa being waited on by Alex.

In her fifth month, Lorelei's legs swelled up and she had to go on maternity leave from the hospital. She spent the days reading or watching TV and waiting for Alex to get home from work. He often gave her back rubs and foot rubs in the evening.

By her ninth month, Lorelei was so front-heavy that she found it difficult to keep her balance when walking. She had so many stretch marks that Alex teased her that her belly looked like a road map. She threw something at him and he ducked.

Lorelei's labor contractions started one rainy afternoon. She and Alex headed for the hospital but got caught in a horrible traffic jam. They waited and waited but weren't able to move an inch.

"I'm going to like itty off and see what happened," Alex said after awhile. "Will you be all right?"

Lorelei, in the midst of a contraction, nodded slightly. Alex left for what seemed like ages, then returned with a crestfallen expression.

"Real oozhassny crash ahead," he said dolefully. "Three or four cars like up in flames."

"Well, this baby isn't going to wait any longer," Lorelei gasped. "It's about to come right now!"

Alex's eyes widened in alarm. "You'll have to get in the back seat! There's no room up here!"

He helped Lorelei to lie down in the back seat, where he hurriedly ripped off her underwear and discovered that she was right. The top of the baby's head was already crowning. He looked at Lorelei's face and saw that it was sweaty, red, and strained with effort. He saw that she was bearing down and that the rest of the baby's head was emerging from her body. Alex held the baby's head to keep it steady as Lorelei prepared to bear down again. When she did, the rest of the baby's body slid out in a mighty _whoosh. _

"Is it born yet?" Lorelei asked.

"Yes," Alex told her. He gently lifted the baby, still attached to the umbilical cord, and laid it on its mother's abdomen. Lorelei reached to touch it and found that it was damp with blood and slick with a whitish substance.

Suddenly several policemen were there. One stared at Alex in shock. "Blimey, you're Alex DeLarge!"

"So I am! Pleased to meet you." Alex grinned and stuck out his hand, which was still covered with residue from the delivery.

"I've arrested you more times that I can count, but the last was at least several years ago," the policeman continued. "So have you done a complete turnaround and become a productive member of society now?"

"Indeed I have, sir," Alex told him.

Following right behind the policemen, an ambulance appeared. The ambulance attendants lost no time in transferring Lorelei and the baby to the back of the ambulance and whisking them to the hospital. Alex followed in the car, arriving much later.

The doctors and nurses in the emergency room stood aside, looking on in shock as Lorelei and the baby were wheeled in on a stretcher.

"I just gave birth in the back seat of my car," Lorelei told them.

"So I see," said the doctor in charge. "Let's take a look, shall we?" He gently lifted the baby and handed it to a nurse, who cleaned it and began to examine it while the doctor checked Lorelei.

"What did I have?" Lorelei asked the nurse.

"You have a beautiful baby girl," the nurse told her. She wrapped the baby in a blanket and laid her in Lorelei's arms. Both of them were soon asleep.

Lorelei awakened to find Alex sitting beside her, grinning. "Are you all right?" he asked her.

"Yes. We have a beautiful baby girl," Lorelei told him.

"Yes, we do," Alex agreed. "She's the most beautiful little devotchka I've ever viddied."

"I want to name her Marisa," Lorelei told him. "Marisa Lynn DeLarge."

Alex nodded in agreement. "That's a real horrorshow eemya," he said.

He sat beside Lorelei for a long time, both of them watching baby Marisa sleep.


	14. Kidnapped!

Baby Marisa's first visitors were Alex's Pee and Em. It was the first time Alex had seen them since he'd been in the hospital recovering from his injuries. He saw that his Em still had blue hair.

"Pee, Em, this is my zheena, Lorelei," Alex said by way of introduction.

"How do you do, my dear." Alex's Em gave Lorelei a maternal hug. "So you've tamed my wild boy, have you?"

"I think Alex tamed himself," Lorelei told her.

"So where's Joe?" asked Alex.

"Working in a factory in Leeds," Alex's Pee said. "Your room's all yours again anytime you want to move back in."

"I've a home of me own now, but thanks anyway," Alex said politely.

"Well, isn't she a darling! Can I hold her?" asked Alex's Em.

"Of course," said Lorelei. Alex's Em picked Marisa up, and the baby immediately began to wail.

"Perhaps that's not such a good idea after all." Alex's Em quickly returned Marisa to her crib.

"How's the new job going?" asked Alex's Pee.

"Real horrorshow," Alex told him.

Alex's Pee and Em visited for a little while longer and then left. The next visitors were Alex's new droogs from church, Colin, Roger, and Simon.

"She's simply beautiful! God has certainly blessed you," said Colin.

"A new soul for the Kingdom of God," added Roger.

"May we pray with you?" asked Simon.

To Alex's surprise, Mary Alexander came to visit later in the day.

"Oh, aren't you a sweetheart." Mary picked Marisa up, and this time the baby didn't cry. "Frank and I always wanted children, but it just never happened."

"There has to be a way to get those two back together," Lorelei said to Alex after Mary had left.

* * *

><p>Disguised as a physician, he was able to roam the hospital hallways without suspicion. He waited until the perfect opportunity came. A split second was all that he needed. He picked baby Marisa up and swiftly carried her down the hallway and out into the parking lot, fastened her into the stolen car seat, and drove away.<p>

* * *

><p>"I assure you, we'll do everything within our power to find your baby as quickly as possible," the nurse assured a sobbing Lorelei, who was being held in the arms of a desolate Alex.<p>

"How could this have happened?" Lorelei cried. "I thought the nursery was closely guarded!"

"It is," the nurse said. "This is the first time this has happened since I started working here."

"It's my fault," Alex said soberly.

"Why do you say that?" asked Lorelei.

"It must be someone whom I hurt in the past who took Marisa in revenge."

"Mary Alexander," Lorelei said. "You heard her say how she always wanted a baby but couldn't have one."

"No, not her," Alex said. "Someone else."

"But who?"


	15. Together Again

"Your daughter has been found," the detective investigating the case told Alex and Lorelei.

"Thank God!" Lorelei sagged with relief in her husband's arms.

"She was found in an upstairs bedroom in a house owned by one Frank Alexander. Beethoven's Ninth Symphony was playing full blast on a stereo downstairs," the detective continued. Alex and Lorelei looked at one another. "Yet we know that Frank Alexander couldn't have been involved, as he's been out of town for the past two weeks. Our opinion is that a second party chose Mr. Alexander's house in an attempt to frame Mr. Alexander."

"Where is she now? I want my baby!" Lorelei demanded.

"She's being examined right now to make sure that her vitals are normal and that she wasn't harmed in any way. As soon as the examination is over she'll be returned to you," the detective said.

"Oh, Alex!" Lorelei began crying again.

"It's all right now, love. Everything's all right," Alex said, patting his wife awkwardly on the back.

A few minutes later, a nurse wheeled baby Marisa back into Lorelei's room.

"She's fine," the nurse told them with a smile. "Just missing her mama, is all."

"My baby!" Lorelei picked Marisa up and showered her with kisses as Alex looked on, grinning.

The following day, Lorelei and Marisa were both cleared to go back home.

"I'm so scared, Alex," Lorelei said. "Whoever took Marisa before might come back and take her again."

"No, they won't," Alex said firmly. "If they even try to take her they'll have to come through me first."

On their first night home with Marisa, Alex and Lorelei barely slept at all, they were both so anxious that there might be another kidnapping attempt.

The next day they received another visit from Mary Alexander.

"I was so relieved when I heard that your precious little darling had been found and was all right," she told them. She picked Marisa up and held her again, and Marisa cooed at her.

"I think she likes you," Lorelei told Mary with a smile.

Mary was still visiting when they heard a knock at the door and found that, to their surprise, their new visitor was none other than Frank Alexander.

"I wanted to make sure that you knew that I had nothing to do with your little one's disappearance," he told them.

"We know that," Lorelei assured him. "The detective told us that you were out of town when she was taken."

Frank barely heard her, as he was staring past Alex and Lorelei at his former wife. "Mary?" he said softly.

"Hello, Frank," Mary said.

"I've missed you so much," Frank said, walking toward her.

"I've missed you as well," she told him.

"Won't you please come back?" he asked.

Mary looked at him warily. "That depends. Are you willing to accept my new way of life and my new friends?"

"Of course, darling," Frank told her. "It was cruel of me to force you to chose between them and me."

"Oh, Frank!" Mary's face was jubilant as she hugged and kissed him.

Lorelei grinned at Alex. "I'm so happy for both of you," she told the Alexanders.


	16. Recovery

One day soon afterwards, Alex and Lorelei received a visit from the detective who was investigating Marisa's kidnapping.

"We finally have our suspect," he told them. "One of the Alexander's neighbors saw a suspicious car in the neighborhood and wrote down the tag number. Turns out the car had been reported stolen by the owner. We apprehended the driver of the car in a neighborhood nearby, and guess who he was? Remember Billyboy?"

"Billyboy!" Alex's hands were clinched into fists of rage as he exploded. "I'll kill him! I'll kill him for what he did to my baby!"

"He's in custody awaiting trial on charges of kidnapping," the detective continued.

"Well, as soon as he's out on bail I'll hunt him down and kill him!"

"Bail has been denied," the detective said softly.

Lorelei walked over to where Alex was sitting and began to massage his shoulders. "Well, at least he didn't _really _hurt her," she said.

"Didn't really hurt her!" Alex screamed, jumping up and pacing rapidly back and forth. "What do you call taking her away from her parents and leaving her alone and helpless in that monster's house?"

"Do you still think of Frank Alexander as a monster?" asked Lorelei.

"Well...I suppose not," Alex admitted. "Still, I want to kill Billyboy for what he did to our malenky Marisa."

"Then you'd be in prison again yourself, and you wouldn't be able to watch her grow up," Lorelei pointed out.

"I suppose." Alex sighed deeply and sat with his head in his hands.

"It'll be all right." Lorelei touched his shoulders. "We'll get through this together." He stood, and they embraced.

* * *

><p>For Lorelei, the next few days seemed crazy. Alex returned to his job as a crossing guard, and she was left alone in the house with Marisa. At first she couldn't bear for the baby to be out of her sight for even a second, which meant that if she were cooking, Marisa had to be in the kitchen as well, and even when she used the restroom, she had to have Marisa along. It was awkward and difficult, but she had to do it. Lorelei became a bundle of nerves.<p>

One evening Alex suggested going out to dinner and hiring a babysitter.

"No!" Lorelei's eyes widened in horror as she clutched the baby tightly. "I can't!" Tears began to steam down her face.

"Darling." Alex touched her arm consolingly. "I know how scary it is for you to be away from Marisa after what happened, but we have to try and get over it somehow. We can't just let it haunt us forever."

"I know." Lorelei sighed. "It's just that it's so very hard..."

"I know it is, sweetheart." Alex embraced her and held her tightly for a long time. In the end she reluctantly agreed, holding Marisa tightly and covering her with kisses before handing her to the sitter.

During dinner Lorelei kept checking her watch nervously.

"She's fine," Alex laughed, patting her hand.

"How is she?" Lorelei breathlessly asked the sitter as soon as they were home.

"She's just fine." The sitter chuckled. "She drank about half a bottle of milk and then went right to sleep."

Lorelei and Alex tiptoed quietly to Marisa's crib and stood watching her sleep for a few minutes. Lorelei softly touched the baby's soft, fuzzy head. Then Alex grinned, took her hand, and led her to their bed, where he began to kiss and fondle her.


	17. Shocking Revelations

Marisa DeLarge grew to be a bright, inquisitive twelve-year-old, with her father's light brown hair and blue eyes and her mother's charming smile. On this particular morning she was rushing to get ready for school when she collided with her ten-year-old brother, Malcolm, in the hallway and spilled orange juice on the floor.

"Hey, watch where you're going," she snapped crossly.

"_You _were the one who bumped into _me," _Malcolm complained.

"Both of you are going to miss the bus," Lorelei warned them.

At last they were out the door and on their way to the bus stop when Marisa heard someone calling her name and turned to see Lauren Alexander running toward her. Although Lauren was a year or so younger than Marisa, the two girls were the best of friends.

"Can you come over this evening? I want to show you my new CD," said Lauren.

"As far as I know. It depends on how much homework I have," Marisa told her.

"Today we're going to talk about the Ludovico treatment," said Marisa's psychology teacher. "It was a form of behavior modification that was used ten to fifteen years ago in prisons and mental hospitals to reform violent criminals so that they could successfully return to society. It involved the exposure to scenes of violence coupled with the simultaneous administration of nausea-inducing medications. The theory behind the treatment was that the subjects who successfully completed it would become programmed to feel ill at the contemplation of violence. The treatment ultimately failed and had to be discontinued, as its subjects were rendered utterly helpless to defend themselves."

_How horrible, _thought Marisa. _To be helpless to defend yourself in a society as violent as ours would be a death sentence. _She decided to visit the library at the first opportunity to learn more about the Ludovico treatment.

When the bell rang for lunch period, instead of going to the cafeteria with the other students, Marisa headed for the school library, where she immediately logged onto a computer and looked up 'Ludovico treatment' on Wikipedia. Marisa gasped in shock to see a photo of her father as a teenager. She read the caption beneath the photo and then just sat there in stunned disbelief. She had to read it over again several more times before its shocking content finally sank in. Frantically, Marisa read the entire article, which told the complete story of how her father had come to volunteer for the Ludovico treatment. When she was finished reading she burst into tears. It couldn't be! It simply couldn't! There was no way in the world her own father would have done those horrible things! No way in the world!

Marisa felt the librarian's gentle hand on her shoulder and jumped up and ran out of the library as quickly as she could. Blinded by tears, she ran down the hallway and out of the school building, across the school grounds, and beyond. She kept on running until she couldn't run another step, then collapsed onto the ground and sobbed her heart out. When she finally looked up, she realized that she had no idea where she was.

_A/N: Yes, Marisa's brother _was _named for Malcolm McDowell. :)_


	18. Sins Of The Father

Fighting panic, Marisa wondered what to do. She couldn't go back home, couldn't face her father knowing now what she knew about him. Neither could she go to Lauren's house, now that she knew that her father and his friends had once raped Lauren's mother. She thought of her grandparents. She saw them infrequently, but they'd always been kind to her. She knew where they lived. She walked until she found the next bus station, boarded the bus, and rode to the stop that was nearest her grandparents' home.

Fortunately, Marisa's grandparents were both home when she arrived. Her grandmother was in the kitchen baking cookies and opened the door when Marisa rang the bell.

"Marisa! What a lovely surprise!" Marisa's grandmother said. "What's wrong, dear? You look as if you've just lost your best friend!"

"I'm going to be staying with you for awhile," Marisa told her. "I can't go back home and face my father after what I just found out about him."

"Whatever are you talking about, dear?"

"He's a rapist and a murderer!" Marisa cried.

"What?" Marisa's grandmother was shocked.

"In school this morning, the teacher told us about the Ludovico treatment," Marisa explained. "I was curious about it, so when the bell rang for lunch, I went to the library and looked it up. There was a whole bunch of stuff on Wikipedia about Dad, Grandma. He used to beat people up...and he raped Lauren Alexander's mum...and...and...and he killed my other grandmother, Grandma." Marisa was near tears again.

"Oh, you poor darling! Come inside and sit on the sofa," Marisa's grandmother said. Marisa did so, and her grandmother sat on the chair across from her.

"Listen, sweetheart, it's true that when your father was younger, he did things, many things, that he isn't proud of now. But he's a different person now, Marisa. He's very sorry for all the bad things he did in the past; he doesn't do them anymore, and he never will again."

"But why didn't someone tell me he did all those things? Why'd I have to find out by looking it up on Wikipedia?" Marisa demanded.

Marisa's grandmother sighed. "I see now that it was probably a mistake, but we were trying to protect you, darling. We knew that finding out about your father's past would hurt you deeply, so we thought it best not to tell you about it. We never considered that you might find out some other way."

"I had the right to know," Marisa insisted, although the fact was that she vehemently wished that she'd _never _found out.

"Perhaps you did," her grandmother said softly. "Well, anyway, what's done is done. I'll call your mother and tell her to come pick you up."

"Grandma, please! Can't I stay here for just a few days? I...I just don't feel like I can face him yet."

"Well...all right," Marisa's grandmother relented. "You may stay in your father's old bedroom, I suppose. I'll call your mother and tell her so she won't be worried about you."

* * *

><p>Lorelei heard the phone ring and was surprised to hear Alex's Em's voice on the other end.<p>

"Marisa's at our house," Alex's Em told her. "She found out about Alex's past in school this morning, and it upset her really badly. She wants to stay with us for a few days."

"Well...all right. That's fine, I suppose," Lorelei said. "How on earth did she find that out in school?"

"Her teacher told the class about the Ludovico treatment this morning. Marisa was curious and looked up some more about it in the school library, and that's how she found out about Alex."

As Lorelei hung the phone up, she was deeply concerned about her daughter. In the back of her mind, she'd always realized that Marisa would probably find out about Alex's past sooner or later. She'd dreaded that time and wondered how on earth she'd handle it when it inevitably came. Now that it finally had, she wondered whether it wouldn't have been better if she'd simply sat Marisa down and had a heart-to-heart talk with her about it as soon as she was old enough to understand. After all, reading about it on Wikipedia had been a rather cold way to find out about it.

A couple of hours later, Malcolm came home from school and asked why Marisa hadn't been on the bus. With a sudden pang Lorelei realized that he would find out some day as well, unless she told him first.

"She's going to be staying with your grandparents for a few days. She...had been missing them and wanted to spend some time with them," Lorelei heard herself say, inwardly cursing herself for her cowardice.

Malcolm frowned but didn't ask anything more. A little while later, Lauren Alexander came over to visit Marisa, and Lorelei told her the same story. A couple of hours after that, Alex came home from work.

"Hello, darling," he said, hugging and kissing his wife. He quickly looked around. "Where's Marisa?"

"At your parents'."

Alex saw the expression on her face and frowned with concern. "What happened?" he asked softly.

"She found out about it in school this morning, Alex," Lorelei said bleakly. "She knows now."


	19. Empathy

"Bloody hell!" Alex sighed deeply. "I should have known that this day would eventually come. How did it happen?"

"Her teacher told the class about the Ludovico treatment. Marisa was curious and looked up more about it on the Internet."

"Poor devotchka," Alex said softly.

"She's so upset that she doesn't even want to come home," Lorelei sighed. "What are we going to do?"

"I'll talk to her," Alex decided, picking up the telephone receiver.

Alex's Em answered. "Marisa, it's your father. He wants to speak to you," she called to her granddaughter.

"Tell him I have nothing to say to him," Marisa replied.

"She won't come to the phone," Alex's Em told her son.

"She won't even speak to me," Alex told his wife miserably.

"Let me speak to her," Lorelei said. Alex handed her the receiver.

"Marisa, please listen," Lorelei said to her daughter. "I realize how upset you are, but you're simply going to have to accept this. Your father loves you dearly. He's very sorry for the bad things he did in the past, and he'll never do them again. Please, sweetheart, won't you at least just talk to him?"

"Like I told Grandma, I have nothing to say to him," Marisa said shortly.

"He _does _really love you, Marisa. He's still the same person who used to give you piggyback rides and take you out for ice cream."

"He's a horrible person, Mum. He's a rapist and a murderer. I never want to see him again!"

"You don't mean that, sweetheart," Lorelei said, but Marisa had already hung up.

* * *

><p>"I don't want to go home," Marisa complained. "I'm not ready yet."<p>

"You're our daughter, Marisa. You belong with us."

"Did _he _come with you?"

"No, he stayed home with Malcolm, but you're going to have to face him eventually, Marisa."

Marisa scowled as she followed her mother back to the car. The ride back home was absolutely silent. Alex and Malcolm both glanced up as she entered the house, but she completely ignored them.

That night Marisa heard a soft rap on her bedroom door.

"Come in," she said.

Alex opened the door. "I know you don't want to see me, Marisa, but I have to talk to you," he said.

Marisa glared at her father defiantly.

"Listen, Marisa, I completely understand how badly it hurt you to find out about the things I did when I was younger. Please believe me, Marisa, I'd give anything, anything at all, if I could go back and undo all the wrong things I did, but I can't. The memory of all those bad things is something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life, and worse than that is the knowledge of how badly it's hurting you now. Marisa, sweetheart, I love you and your brother more than life itself. If there were anything in the world that I could do to take away the pain that's in your heart right now, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

"What were you thinking about while you and your friends were raping Lauren Alexander's mum?"

"I was very young then, and I thought that it was all just a game, a joke. I thought it was a lot of fun to hurt other people. That was before I developed empathy. Do you know what empathy is, Marisa?"

Marisa shook her head.

"Empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person's shoes, to understand how they feel when you hurt them. The reason I did all those bad things was that I hadn't yet developed empathy, but I have now, thanks in large part to your mum."

Marisa looked thoughtful. What her father said seemed to make a lot of sense, and she felt the anger that she had for him beginning to dissipate.

"What about me?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"What if I turn out to be just like you were? I mean, what if it's inherited?"

Alex laughed. "I don't think you have anything to worry about, Marisa. You have more empathy than just about anyone else I know."

"What about Malcolm?"

"I think he'll be fine too, Marisa."

"Are you sure?" Marisa felt as if a heavy load had just been lifted off her shoulders.

"I'm positive, Marisa." Alex grinned and rumpled his daughter's hair. "Feel better now?"

"Much." Marisa grinned back at him.

"I love you, Marisa." Alex lifted her chin and kissed her forehead.

"I love you too, Dad." Everything was all right again. Well, maybe not _completely _all right, but at least she was no longer afraid.


End file.
